I love my son. I didn’t know if I could before I had one. I guess I had it in my mind that sons were somehow unlovable. When you have a father who doesn’t stick around… and then a step-father who pretty much hates on you the entire time he’s married to your mother… I guess feeling this way is a natural response.
He didn’t take to me right off like his older sister did at his age. He was a momma’s boy for his first year. We didn’t really bond. This only confirmed my fears that I was going to be a great father to one child… and a terrible one to my youngest. But for some reason, after that first birthday, things started to turn around. He suddenly liked his Daddy. It really helped to know that it wasn’t me. I was just pretty much useless to him for the first year!
He’s just shy of a year and a half. As his personality develops, and I’m introduced to more and more of who he’s becoming… I gotta say… he’s a cool little dude. He loves to laugh, cut up, play jokes, chase and be chased. He is obedient and eager to please. He can switch between tears and a smile almost instantly and he’s already showing signs of being a good hard-working little helper.
I still worry if I’m going to cheat him somehow. I’m never going to be the Dad that plays basketball or football with him. Hunting and fishing aren’t my thing. I don’t play golf or watch sports. I draw. I play video games. I create podcasts and blogs. Not your typical Daddy type stuff. Maybe he’ll take after me… maybe not.
I just have to believe that whether or not I can relate to him… that I’ll always be there to support him. I will provide the constancy in his family, home, discipline and love that he needs to move in the direction God has planned for him. What does the Bible say after all… “train up a child in the way he should go”. I may not do it right… but I’ll at least be doing it in the right direction.
I believe that will work just fine. I turned out okay and I never had that. I can’t wait to see what he’s capable of.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
"I still worry if I’m going to cheat him somehow. I’m never going to be the Dad that plays basketball or football with him." Even though you're not the kind of dad who is going to play sports I think he'll know that no matter what he does his dad will accept him and support him. Isn't that what you thrived on as a kid was acceptance from your father? Little Dunder won't have to try as hard as you did to gain that feeling of acceptance because he will know that no matter what his dad loves him. There is no way you could cheat that little guy, so don't worry too much about it.
I, too, was that dad who was never popular or a jock. But, my guys are now 23 and 20 and they are themselves (which is a good thing). The shy one is now the out-front he-man jock who understands people very very well. It was not handed to him; he worked hard to get where he is. My other son has had a very hard life due to some medical issues which reset his life just as he entered college. He, too, knows how to think and he is his own person. So, buck up and know that you will be a great Dad by being "there" (where ever that takes you) for your kids. We do not have to "be" anything but the person that God wants us to be as examples. My Dad died when I was young but taught me that the number one thing I could do for my sons is to love their Mom. Do that and love God and things will work out their own ways.
You should pick up golf. It's amazing.